"Reality backhanded me that hard, it revived me- literally"

57 hours later i wake up in a secluded hospital room in ICU with around the clock nurses monitoring me. I was on a ventalator and my clothes were cut off.

My first thought was ‘Where the fuck is my vape?’. Second thought was what the fuck happened, where am I and get this tube out of my throat.

The doctors came in to explain what happened.

The good old dose and for those who dont know what does is its GHB I do not recommend it I had an 80ml DAILY habit but thats another story.

So i accidentally overdose on GHB ended up face down in the canal bahind the back of my house, my house mate dragged me out called the ambulance. The paramedics manged to revive me on the grass and i wake up 57 hours later with no recollection of any of it.

By this stage I had lost count of how many times ive overdosed, been shock revived or just ened up in ICU from substance abuse. I have cheated death that many times i became numb to it i wasnt phased when the doctors were saying i wasnt breathing.

You know how people talk about seeing the light and their life flash before their eyes as they are passing over?… I can confirm that it does happen. I will never forget that feeling because ive never felt anything like it no drug will ever compare to the feeling of passing over. I felt content for once like at peace with all the good ive done and alll the shitty things id done i felt free like i was okay with everything and accepted that it was my time…. Im not going to lie i was so pissed off when i woke up i mean like i resented waking up not because i wanted to die because reality walked in slapped me in the face and was like ‘haha nah hun we need to talk’.

I started thinking about this overdose more then any of the other ones, It felt like God just gave me my last chance while showing me he can take me out as quick as he bought me in. Did i ever have a dose of GHB after that? Of course I did im an addict what did you expect?. This is not one of those inspirataional experiances thay changed someones life immediatley, This experiance just kept getting worse but not once did i give up on myself, despite being written of as a no hope junkie everyday i got the fuck up and done what ever i needed to do to survive.

I became homeless and my GHB use spiraled to the point when i had to 5ml dose myself in an ally way just so id frank out and get 2 hours sleep. The chemicals in GHB made my hair fall out and snap off, my whole body waas covered in excma a few months of that and some self worth issues finally broke me i was done over it not doing this shit anymore so i kneeled in the middle of the highway verbally begging to die, yelling ‘please take me out, why wont you hit me, im that pathetic even death doesnt want me’. An elderly couple stopped got me off the road and called an ambulance and i was admitted to the ward where i was properly medicated and detoxing at the same time i was there for 3 weeks and had one option I never thought id ever have to try…Call my mother and ask her if I could move back in under strick condiotions eventually she agreed to let me back home